SAY NO TO MAYONNAISE
(Borrowed from the Italian Sandwich page)
This is my breaking point, my hill to die upon, my renewed conviction. If I don't say this now, it would be a dishonesty.
No more mayonnaise on Italian Sandwiches.
An Italian sandwich is a zesty affair- Slightly bitter and fresh. The only sauce needed is not a sauce, but oil and vinaigrette. Pesto can also be a welcome surprise. Mayonnaise does not taste fresh; It's heavy and creamy. Let me be clear: I am by no means a hater of mayonnaise- I have actually discovered that mayonnaise is an over hated condiment. It is far from my priorities to besmirch mayonnaise. But I need to draw a line somewhere.
This sandwich above, by all means, should have been delicious. Instead, you take a bite, and all you get is the overwhelming attack of mayonnaise and an unbalanced amount of meat. This is not what an Italian Sandwich is. This is not the only Italian Sandwich I had that was like this- Molinari's in San Francisco did the same. The mayonnaise is a total wrecking ball to the Harmony of the Italian Sandwich.
What is the flavor of an Italian Sandwich? It's crunchy. It's soft. It's sweet. Bitter. Oily. Vinegary. It's Delicious! It's a mix of tastes and textures that is delivered in the tower of a bite. Nothing takes the lead, yet nothing is in the back seat. It's refreshing in the summer and invigorating in the winter. It's excess for a reason- even the blend of meats used in the sandwich are meats of contrast. Banana peppers provide a bitter punch that the cheese deflects. Lettuce gives crunch, and the tomatoes provide zing. A world where everything has its purpose, diverse yet together.
And then you add Mayonnaise- A wave of creamy white that Overrides flavor, Interrupts texture, and unifies under it's unwanted banner. What are you doing here, Mayonnaise? Who invited you? Why do you refuse to stay in your lane?
Let's ask the final question: What convinces a sandwich maker to add mayonnaise to a sandwich? Is it in service of tradition- a sandwich needs to have some sort of lubricant and mayonnaise is the standby? Could we call that laziness? Is it desired, as the sandwich maker welcomes its inclusion? Could we call that bad taste? Is it that they have no excuse, that they simply do it because they do it and haven't thought about it? Could we call them a coward?
Is it giving up on life and neglecting intention? Could we call it walking away from the world?
I had no clue what I was in for as I took the above photo of the Italian Sandwich. I took the photo in a gesture of good will, with the assumption that this sandwich was going to be delicious, even though I had seen the mayo from the cross section. Could we call that naivety?
As I ate the Mayonnaise Bath pictured above, I realized what needed to be done. And with this message, I hope that I have accomplished what had to be.
Shaun H, 7/29/2026

Comments
Post a Comment